Inspired, Luminous Spirit

In one of his songs Israel Houghton sings, " ....No limits, no boundaries..."

So as I look into the mirror and look within those eyes that stare back at me I begin to wonder - Who am I really?

I know I am a soul, and i am more than that. I feel I have greatness within me. I do not believe in limits , not even the sky... I think I am greater than the sky, yet I have so many things I need to do, yet I am so afraid.

So I tap into Marianne Williamson's poetry and find some encouragement in Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles where she penned the popular Our Greatest Fear...

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so?
You are a child of God, small games do not work in this world. For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small. We were born to express the glory of god that lives in us. It is not in some of us, it is in all of us. While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.’

Such powerful words... but what would prompt someone to write these words? Was she going through what I am going now, was she so afraid that she had to dig deep into her soul to find out who she was?

So I have a slight idea of who I am, i know I have potential... how much I do not know, maybe way too much and just the possibility that I might not be able to handle it gives me the jibbees.

I once worked with a certain woman , and we have since become good friends and she once said that I underestimate myself... could she have possibly had the forsight to see who I was if i operated at full potential?

My light scares me- why? Well as a young black woman , I've always been pounded by comments such as "no black person has ever done that" or "you will never be able to do it , you are a woman, or you are too young, or you do not have what it takes etc" At the end of the day I am led to believe that my brilliance, my beauty and my talent are never meant to be manifested.Or what if I fail..people will laugh and ridicule me. Forget about people my little mind tells me, they have always had an opinion- if they look at me as a failure I will not mind because I kno that it takes some courage to dip your feet in the water and it it takes wisdom to choose to learn from my mistakes, and it takes zeal for me to try again and have a better outcome. Then again what if I just stand bold and become the first to anything... is there anything wrong, those before me have been the firsts in many things and we celebrate them, so who am I not to let my light shine?

Why am I even afraid... I am a child of the Most High God. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I walk by faith and by sight so while odds are against me and I feel intimidated I will arise above everything and be the light of the world, because greater is He that is in me than in the world. I am the salt of the earth, I was born to make an impact. I shall not be afraid, for the Lord is my Shepherd.

I have greatness in me and I choose not to have that to cause any fear in me, rather I will shine and be standard for others after me. I choose not to be defined by what people say or think of me - I will not let people who hardly know me define and carve who I am.When they look at me they will not look at me as a limit but they will know that they can be greater than me, because as Children of God we all have that special DNA of greatness in us. We serve a great God so how can we be nothing but great?

Casting the first stone.

sometime last week I decided to catch up with Zim news and I must say what I saw when I open the NewZimbabwe website is something I did not see coming. The story about Archbishop Pius Ncube. Read the article and mina zwi... partly because I was in shock and partly because I believe its unethical to chop and chew those who are ordained to do the Lord's work.

So i decided to forget about this issue, up until I get an email from my friend, "SERIOUSLY WHAT WAS HE THINKING?" then she put a link to the New Zimbabwe website.AHHhh wabseng'nyathele iconzi! Not that I am Pius is innocent and not that I am saying he is guilty. I got upset because she was the last person I expected to get such a reaction from... I mean she is a legal clerk and has given the best advice when it comes to legal matters kodwa I just felt as though she didn't even give the guy a chance... considering we got the phrase '... not guilty until proven guilty from the legal field.

As we speak the media has already crucified ubab' uPius and the dude hasn't even been given a chance. Yet i find a few things a little outta place. Thina sikhula eZim we were never exposed to any form of nudity, not in the Parade or Look 'n' Listen or any other magazines and certainly not in any newspaper or TV shows ( unless mina ngakula kweyami ngedwa iZim) Now we get the media posting nude pictures... methinks i ought to ask a question. What happened to the media being informative, educational and being just. Sure we've been informed , but the verdict has been given , and quite frankly what good does a nude picture of Pius do for me absolutely nada! I think there are more pressing issues in the country to be dealt wit, such as looming food shortages and the ban of imported goods as well as the future of the country( ubab' uDube olegrocer yakhe seyaphila njani engasakhon' ukuwoda impahla zokuthengisa es'tolo sakhe).

Then this MaSibanda or Mrs Sibanda lady goes on live TV and supposedly makes a confession....If I have dirty laundry I aint airing it out on national TV. So I guess ZTV ( if that is still the name) is now the Maury Povich show in the making. If they keep going at this rate soon it will be like the Jerry Springer Show.

Take Mr Sibanda yena ngokwakhe...how does a soldier afford to hire a Private Investigator, considering kuyalanjwa ekhaya....I'd think it would be wise to invest imali into something worthwhile( then again I have not yet experienced marriage maybe for some individuals , hiring a PI is worth every dollar or mhlawumbe I have this whole kulanjwa picture all wrong)

Now I go on to His Excellency Sekuru Bobby. At a funeral our 'intelligent ' prez was quoted as saying that he was praying for the Archbishop - a man of God who was sleeping around with married women( not a direct quote but something along these line) Ngizathi kuMongameli welizwe... yehla es'hlahleni ugaja lungephuki! Firstly abanye bahlulukelwe and have just suffered a loss... then of all places you choose to utter such a comment. Then under the pretext of trying to empathize uBobby uyamgcona lumuntu. On the sleeping around with married women issue.... I think its best we neva through stones at other people's houses when we know that our own is made of glass. When Sally Mugabe was still alive the very same Bob was seeing a woman by the name Mrs. Guriraza who also happens to be the same lady we all know as Grace .

So lets suppose Pius did it... so what. Just coz he is an Archbishop does not mean he is not human and he aint got feelings; sure... maybe in that case you are thinking he shouldn't run after married women. Well it takes 2 to tango ! Just coz he is a man of the cloth it does not mean he is perfect...no one is perfect we are all striving for perfection and we all sin every day, but no one ever points a finger at you when you go astray so who are we to point fingers at other people when they mess up.For some people this is the very man you asked to pray for you izinto zingahambi kahle, and before you even say anything, look back at some of your trying times and think for a moment- you may not have made it were it not for Arcbishop Pius holding you up in prayer. Only Pius and God know what is what and if he did it he knows he needs to ask for God's forgiveness, and he needs to repent, and am sure he can do so without the whole world breathing down his throat.

Before we even bring Pius out like the woman caught in adultery , we need to examine ourselves. As Christians we are bought with a price, we are the bride of Christ, yet when we sin we cheat on him and become adulterers. No one exposes us and prepares to stone us, therefore as Pius goes through this trying time we ought to be praying for him and not looking for what we think might be the perfect stone to cast him with because do not have the right to do so!

For a few days my little mind has had a rush of ideas but time and my tiny little fingers haven't been able to cope .

It is 6.08 in the morning... a first for me to be up at this hour on a Monday morning. I am listening to jams off of the Because of you album by Neyo... must say that cat has talent. I got these last night but I didn't get to listen to them as I dosed off. Love all the jams on this one( just like I did with the first album) my favs being the Duet with my twin J-Hud and then there is just one songs that takes me to the dancefloor, and gets me doing my thing - Can we Chill . Am picking a lot of Prince influence on some trax.
Streetlights are out and daylight is slowly making its grand entrance. Feels cool, no sun yet, and I can live with that... as long as it stays this way by the time I am done I might go out for a walk stop for breakfast on the way, and just take in the new day. Then again this is Canadaian weather we are talking about.... it is bound to turn a liar out of you - it is ever changing, so it would not be a surprise if later on we get thunderstorms or it turns out to be smoggy and a heat alert is issued by the city. Such is typical of the 'True North, strong and Free'

I am not a morning person, but this aint so bad. I have had a few bright ideas and been sorting my thoughts... just don bet on me waking up this early every day.

Next month will be the busiest for me. I am slowly settling into my part-time evening job. I have a cousin coming the States haven't seen each each in 9 years... , then there is the Malaika concert that everyone is gearing up for....all my friends are coming from Montreal for that, haven't some of them in 2 years , then the grand finale for that month will be my trip out west to see my sis... been ten years since I've seen her. All the re-unions will be great and I've already started stocking up on some Kleenex supplies, coz there is just one person I kno who just takes emotional to a whole new level. I am not complaining just looking forward to all the re-unions and just preparing myself for an awesome time.

Love : A paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13

As a Christian whoo propheses to have the love of God, I sometimes wonder if some of the things I ever do, bring Glory to him. I am not perfect but am striving to be the best I can.
Here is something to thing about, I got it from a colleague at work and it was written by David Sanford. Please do not give me any credit, all I am doing is reproducing his thoughts.

If I talk a lot about God and the bible and the Church, but I fail to ask about your needs and then help you, I'm simply making a lot of religious noise.

If I graduate from the theological seminary and know all the answers to questions you'll never even think of asking, and if I have all the degrees to prove it and if I say I believe in God with all my heart, and soul and strength, and claim to have incredible answers to my parayers to show it, but I fail to take the time to find out where you're at and what makes you laugh and why you cry, I'm nothing.

If I sell an extra car and some of my books to raise money for some poor starving kids somewhere, and if I give my life for God's service and burn out after pouring everything I have into the work , but I do it all without ever once thinking about the people, the real hurting people- the moms and dads and sons and daughters and orphans and widows amd the lonely and hurting- if I pour my life into the Kingdom but forget to make it relevant to those here on earth, my energy is wasted, and so is my life.

Here is what love is like - genuine love. God's kind of love. It's patient. It can wait .It helps others , even if they never find out who did it.Love doesn't look for greener pastures or dream of how things could be better if I just got rid of all my current commitments. Love doesn't boast. It doesn't try to build itself up to be something it isn't. Love doesn't act in a loose, immoral way.It doesn't seek to take, but it willingly gives. Love doesn't lose it's cool. It doesn't turn on and off.

Love doesn't think about how bad the other person is, and certainly doesn't think how it could get back at someone.Love is grieved deeply (as God is) over the evil in this world, but it rejoices over truth.

Love comes and sits with you when you're feeling down and finds out what is wrong. It empathizes with you and believes in you. Love knows you'll come through just as God planned, and loves sticks right beside you all the way. Love doesn't give up, or quit , or diminish or go home. Love keeps on keeping on, even when everything goes wrong and the feelings leave and the other person doesn't seem as special anymore. Love succeeds 100 percent of the time. That , my friend, is what real love is!

Think on these things my friends. No one knows you better than you.

Ubumnandi... the 411!

I have been meaning to post something for a while now!i wonder how i will pull this one seeing I am suffering from the effects of ubumnandi - namely fatigue and lack of adequate sleep. Many a time I have started blogs and then a whole rush of ideas just flows or somewhere along the lines i lose track and the blog becomes a victim of my delete button.

A lot has happened since my last blog, people have come and gone... nothing new about that - such is life. The surprising thing though is I have had pple in my life and for a while i stopped communicating, in simple terms ngaba'scratcha' for wateva reasons, but i managed to reconcile, forgive and move on. I am sure those who might kno me well may think ... its so unlike me. Maybe it is maybe not, some say yikukhula some say I growing soft, term it wat you may , but life is too short to be holding silly grudges. I have nothing on Mother Theresa, and I aint trying to be like her, I am just being me, deciding to live my life like its golden and have a ball when I can.

So today i decided to dub myself as the First Lady of ubumnandi... a title which i must is well deserved. I do not drink and do not smoke, but whenever there is a function.... i just get a natural high....you'd think I'd taken a few drinks or some weed. I am always the loudest and with that comes the grand prize of being the first to lose my voice.

Life is what you make it out to be. So here are a few tips on ubumnandi from the First Lady herself.

• always wear something comfy ... we all know that when the dj gets on the ones & twos it goes down... you do not want to be wearing clothing that's too tight to the extent that it robs you of the pleasure of letting all loose. While on the clothing subject might i add that while you may want to preserve your sexy with those heels ladies, there aint nothing wrong with removing them shoes and getting your groove. Rather you do it barefoot and have a great time than to pull a Miss America at the Miss Universe Pageant. That being said we move on to the next point,
• self - esteem ... you may run into other people there and maybe because of the way they size u up and down and they may think that they have reduced u to nothing. Take notes. Excuse yourself from the crowd.. go to the ladies room , touch up on your make-up and when you are done, take a good look at that person looking back at ya... that is you... you are beautiful... in your own way. You are IT! now that we've got u bodied, we have to tuck that tummy, chest out and be Naomi Campbell - just her walk not her temper! Strut your stuff - now that you know you are IT ( and I do not mean Information Technology) don't you feel the whole world needs to know that - put yourself on a pedestal so everyone can admire.
• so we've worked on confidence, now we'll work on the attitude. You will probably run into haters and drunk pple who will probably want to set it off. Ignore all that nonsense and tell yourself that it's your time to loosen up & have some fun and nothing is going to stop you from achieving that goal. It's all about you - the IT having a good time, and not about anyone else.

So there you go, I will not credit myself on writing the book on amafaro just passing on some info that might be valid or helpful not only when it comes to having fun but even to daily lives. sometimes we feel insecure, and as such we feel afraid to take charge when need be because we feel insignificant! If you are so insignificant then what is your purpose on earth. You are valuable. We need to boost our confidence and check our attitude - always got to be optimistic. Half the time we are already defeated before we take on challenges, and we forget important scriptures such as "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and "We walk by faith and not by sight." And we always seem to forget that" we are more than conquerers" - newsflash we are not just achievers but we are over achievers. So let us gather some backbone and take a stand.