bittersweet

My friend is getting married end of the year in Zim. I am to be her Matron of Honour. Have been told ukuthi if I don get my tail in Zim ngizavalelwa ibhuku.Now, I don think that's fair, I mean do I have to have ibhuku lami closed coz a sista's broke.

So here I am trying to save sum $$ for the trip to Zim. Hopefully by the end of the year I will be able to go. I really feel that African soil calling me, " Child come home."Its been five long and painful years since I left home.

Will be nice to see ma family , and friends, at the sametime it will bring sad memories. Maybe that is why I have been so afraid to go back home, the fear of me neva seeing my dad again.My last memory of him is that of the day ngisuka.When I left I kissed and hugged a human being , now all I will see is just a Headstone and Grave site.I guess coz I neva went to the funeral I neva got any closure and as such its been difficult to deal with the fact that he is gone, all I have are the good memories, and adventures, as well as good laughs to keep me going.

I always have good dreams when he is in those dreams, and in them he looks so alive and well. Guess its high time I step out to reality and go home to embrace the fact that he is gone, and finally get some closure.

So 'til I take that trip, its more saving for me and countdown continues.